


Never Sorry Enough

by Dirty_Corza



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Past Infidelity, Self-Hatred, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 17:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10443228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dirty_Corza/pseuds/Dirty_Corza
Summary: Sometimes, loving someone means letting them go.“No.” She pulled her hands away from his, crossing her arms to tuck them against her sides. “I- If you're going to be here, I should say something first. I'm sorry. Not-not that he's taken care of you. I'm- I shouldn't be happy you look so much better off without me, but you do, and I am. And, I'm sorry for the things I did to hurt you. The way I used you.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Somewhere Only We Know](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6960550) by [Dirty_Corza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dirty_Corza/pseuds/Dirty_Corza). 



“Hawke.”

Hawke started at the sound of her name, looking up from her ale, eyes widening when she saw who it was who had addressed her. “Anders, I- I didn't expect to see you.”

He gave a slight amused huff, though the smile on the edge of his lips didn't quite reach his eyes. “Of course not. You came here to hide.”

She flinched at that, looking away from him as her fingers tightened their grip on her drink. “I came here to make sure we didn't cause a scene in The Pearl. So you could talk to Isabella safely. Without... me.”

She wasn't surprised when he sat down across from her, not after he actually had to put in work to find her in this seedy little tavern. The gentle hand reaching out to her clenched fingers, pulling the drink away from her, though? Almost as surprising as the look of concern on his face. “Hawke, I-”

“No.” She pulled her hands away from his, crossing her arms to tuck them against her sides. “I- If you're going to be here, I should say something first. I'm sorry. Not-not that he's taken care of you. I'm- I shouldn't be happy you look so much better off without me, but you do, and I am. And, I'm sorry for the things I did to hurt you. The way I used you.”

She held up her hand when he looked about to interrupt her, cutting off his words before he could begin. “I wanted a way to help. To help you, to help Bethany, to help the others in The Gallows. And when you decided protecting me was more important than letting me help? I... reacted poorly. And the only good thing to come out of that string of bad decisions is that you look more alive than you have since our first night together. And definitely happier than you did then. I'm not asking for forgiveness. Or understanding. But I wanted to say it.”

There was silence for a moment as golden eyes considered her, a hint of blue teasing at the edges. “That answer... is just.” The words came slowly, a low rumble that was as much Anders as it was Justice. There was no smile with those words, though, the concern had faded into something much more neutral, something Hawke felt much more at ease with.

Anders was quiet as the blue faded away, letting it stretch on before he spoke again. “I didn't expect that, when I came here.”

Hawke tilted her head, a slight frown on her face before she could stop it. “What did you expect, exactly?”

He gave a shrug with his reply, pushing her drink back towards her. “I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't an apology. Not after how you left.”

She winced, letting her gaze drop down to the cup now sitting in front of her. “No. After that, well. I'm surprised you're here at all.”

“I wanted to talk. See how you were doing.”

“You could have just asked Isabella.”

“But I wanted to ask you.”

Hawke sighed, taking a slow drink before letting her gaze meet his again. “I'm doing fine, for a lying, cheating woman with less understanding of love than she admitted. I mean, Fenris hasn't shown up to rip my heart out yet, so things aren't as bad as they could be.”

“Hawke.”

Her hands were shaking, barely noticeable as she set down her drink. “I can't do this, Anders, I can't talk like you should forgive me, or care about me again. You shouldn't, not after- after all of that. We're leaving again soon. You probably already heard, from Isabella. Please let this be goodbye.”

“Why?”

Hawke almost smiled then, blinking away tears that teased at the corner or her eye. “Because I'm a terrible person, Anders. Haven't you noticed?” There was weight behind her words, forced, bitter laughter between them.

It worked, though, the bitterness, the harshness, encouraging Anders to stand, pushing himself away from the table. “I guess this is goodbye, then.” His voice was soft, and it was all Hawke could do to stay silent, to give him nothing more than a nod to show she heard. And then, he was gone, and she was alone again, with nothing more than a half-full tankard of ale for company.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to the heartbreakers.  
> To anyone who knew ending the relationship was best for both parties, even if the other one couldn't see it.  
> To anyone who felt their own heart break a bit at ending it, but knew it was the right thing to do.  
> Sometimes, a relationship comes to an end, and that's ok. And sometimes a relationship ends and you can't go back to being just friends. And that's ok, too.
> 
> <3


End file.
